Connecting with my soul..
As I was driving into NYC on Wednesday, I did a lot of thinking.. mostly about myself. I really love having breakthrough moments when I realize how I tend to get in my own way towards any goal. The drive was long enough for me to listen to a long podcast and fully delve into my brain. I came to 2 conclusions holding me back for what I believe, most of my adult life.
So, I decided to give myself a LOVING pep talk.. I spoke out-loud about how much I love myself and admire that DESPITE all of the mental/emotional struggles I’ve gone through, I’m still a pretty good human. I also want to keep improving who I am and play out my role in this world. How could I not love that person? How could I not respect her? Why have I been letting her go in multiple ways? Doesn’t a person like that deserve to be treated with care and gratitude? Just because it’s “only me” doesn’t mean I can’t provide myself with all of those feelings. As I came to that realization, I INSTANTLY felt amazing. The whole day that proceeded was amazing as well. I walked around NYC with a different perspective. First of all, it was over 90 degrees. On most occasions when I am sweaty in public I get really self conscious.. to the point where I’ve actually avoided so many events and situations. Why? Who the hell cares?! I thought back to so many times I’ve limited myself because I was worried about what others thought. All of that did nothing for me. If I truly love myself NO ONE ELSE’S opinion matters. I walked in NYC, sorta sweaty, and I loved it LOL. I attended a recording of an amazing author, Mel Robbins. I met some pretty cool people.. an angel channel-er (I hope that’s the correct term) and a woman who dedicates herself to woman in business. I actually enjoyed a day dedicated to myself. I needed that.. 🙂
I had been struggling for a while with the insecurity of not being “smart enough” to accomplish my goals. I believe the moment I accepted to love myself fully, also made me accept that although I can’t control how smart I am, I can control how hard I work. In the end, how hard you work can determine how smart you GET. Wow! All this time I’ve been convincing myself that I am not smart enough to write a book.. I am not smart enough to run a business on my own forever.. I am not smart enough to represent a company to an important customer and keep rising.. so much inner head talk just doing me dirty. So, maybe I need to brush up on my writing skills, but taking a writing course and letting loose on my blog can help! Maybe I’m just scaring myself with the whole “business” thing and I just need to take baby steps.. forever is really a day at a time, right? Maybe I need to keep going out and taking all the “NO’s” as fuel until I find a big client who says “YES”.
In the end, my life is what I make of it. I can sit and mope.. hate myself.. want to lose weight or have perfect skin.. but, nothing changes if nothing changes. Step 1, love myself. Step 2, take action. Step 3, don’t give up when you fail. Step 4, keep going.. and so on and so on… JUST ONE DAY AT A TIME.
ANYTHING you work hard for will ALWAYS pay off.. at the PERFECT time.
XoXo
Dai